Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
