I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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