Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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