what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
