I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
