a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
