now i know why i became what i already was.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
