lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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