i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
