is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
