Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
