I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
