remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
