I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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