Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize