Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
