i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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