For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
