Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
