He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
