There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
