I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
