there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My sheets look like a crime scene.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
