I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
