it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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