Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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