my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
