i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
do herpes really smell.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
