Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
