Can i not drive my cunt home
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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