Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
PANTIES FOUND
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