I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
another moral hangover. fuck.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
