sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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