my sisters under your porch take her home
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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