remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
