her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
