Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
