So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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