dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
