Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Dignity is for republicans.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
