is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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