I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
