Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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