if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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