my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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