a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
