nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize