Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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