Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
