Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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