Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
