Whod you bang
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
