when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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