I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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