I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
