I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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