Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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