happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I am spending my child support on dildos
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
