You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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