You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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