would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
