did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The struggles of a small town man whore
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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