You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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