i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
