I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
