just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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