Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize