im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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