love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
