I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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