I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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