I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
