I'm drive I can fine osifer
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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