This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
